Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Life's Mysteries

Have I erred? I hate when something so simple escalates into a huge mess. My life is just riddled with these types of situations though. I have tasted the bitter pill of disappointment once more, and I've decided that I do not like it one bit. I thought I had figured out a situation and that I would not have to swallow a bitter pill, but I was wrong. Sigh...

Well.. on a brighter note...

It's raining. I know that sounds a bit sarcastic, but it's the honest to goodness truth. I love that it's raining.. It's a reflection of how I feel currently. A little upset so it rains hard... a little tired so it drops off... and every once in a while a cloud will part and the sun will peek through and that is the sunshine that brightens my day... Like pretending to go on a "date" with my four year old brother. He couldn't hold my hand and drive because he might wreck. I love the way a four year old thinks. He kept wanting a bear or croc to eat me. I told him he wasn't a very good boyfriend.

I believe that when I titled this entry as Life's Mysteries... I am referring to the fact that I am once again feeling bereft, alone, and drifting. The mysterious part of this is that I talk to a friend daily and I have five other siblings who are constantly demanding my attention. I hate that I feel so self centered... but currently that's about all I can think of. How alone I feel. Hopefully the Lord will give me a good chastening or shock or something and get me back on track. I have a feeling though that He's wanting me to learn on my own and get back on track through disciplining myself. Who knows? Certainly not me...

1 comment:

Alanna said...

I'm sorry you're so lonely. Sometimes I feel that way too. Miss you!